Rise and Fall

The long hard gradual awakening remnant of a bruised slumber peels and rends like dry burned skin leaving charred sheets burdened with little tears of yesterday in small pools clinging fast making small salt edged circles on the fading woodwork of old memories

And You Said

and you said you couldn’t stop because it was cunning, and baffled you just kept right on despite the wife packed up one foot out the front door kids, midnight sleepy-eyed dragged to cold running car that’s not me, though, that’s you, and not my pathetic story about your weakness and you said you couldn’t stop after berating […]

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Coming Forth — A Tribute to the Band “Slint”

Slow slithering lines meander leaving breadcrumbs of ideas behinds as they slowly work to a sudden stark shattering and climb slowly back down into a quiet contemplation before slashing raw again the slow slight peacefulness with jarringly sharp edges of middle-class bent anger and suburban frustrations boiling always just below the surface of everything just […]

Spring Emotions

Rich rain smell scent of melting snow Usher departure of deep rooted frost saturated bedding for browned blades grass loose-rooted gently nudged awake by sun’s growing fever. I, long asleep, winter wrapped, reach tired arms, achingly, toward you, toward your warmth, to melt deeply rooted frosts of anger and loosely rooted spears of fear

Sun Shunned Days

Cold bitter waters wash over slick wooden edges in sprays of fear – frigid and tiny little piercings of pin-pricks of wet pain weary and numb worn limbs, as darkness masks the icy swales of this emotional torrent. clinging to the storm shaken lifeboat barely buoyant breath held on heaving swales, praying to any god that listens […]

The Meeting — Part 2 of ???

You can find the first part of this story, which is fiction, but educated by my real life experiences, lower in my posts.  Eventually I will compile them into their own page. Enjoy, Smiling1541. *********** The man opens the door and steps inside, nods to me and heads downstairs. He doesn’t look like an alcoholic […]

Meeting — Part 1 of ?? (Working title)

I pulled into the parking lot of the church, trying to stifle the tickle of a feeling that I wasn’t at the right place. There were only two other cars in the parking lot and they were empty. Granted, I was early — 15 minutes early. I have a habit of getting places early when […]

Struggles with Bipolar Disorder

So….I am gonna come out, so to speak…maybe it’ll help my healing. I have a mental disorder.  Wow…just the words mental disorder are hard to get out.  They carry so much weight….so much stigma….so much bullshit…so much unknown….so much fear. A little under a year ago I was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder type 2 — […]

S is for…Struggling to Stay Sober

couldn’t Sleep last night heater clicking clock ticking in Time with shaking endless images inside eyelids cunts, cocks electronics, swirling Chaos distracting gut wrenching brow clenching sweat and Alcohol stink and sting taste of beer smell of lavender bugs crawl on skin that is crawling yearning to be touched soothed, helped, fucked, tucked in to […]

Diner Dream — A Recurring Dream From Childhood

A childhood nightmare that rewinds itself every so often standing in the lot of some nowhere diner Parent’s stopped before your pained bladder emptied on the coffee stained worn out 67 chevy impala bench backseat Too much A+W Rootbeer from a grandmother who gave you another can because she didn’t have to ride 180 miles […]