couldn’t Sleep
last night
heater clicking
clock ticking
in Time
with shaking
endless images
inside eyelids
cunts, cocks
electronics,
swirling Chaos
distracting
gut wrenching
brow clenching
sweat and Alcohol
stink and sting
taste of beer
smell of lavender
bugs crawl
on skin
that is crawling
yearning
to be touched
soothed, helped,
fucked,
tucked in
to sleep
feel skin
prickle cold
sweat stench
pours scream
and dts
dreams terror
fear paranoia
and physical
pain…
I struggle!

~~~~~~~~~
It’s no secret, I am sober after years of….being otherwise. I wrote this a number of years after my first divorce and I was in a very bad way with drinking and….let’s leave it with drinking. Some night’s I’d try to stay sober and this is often how it felt.